As many of you who are reading this has heard about that awful encounter with Minneapolis police killing an innocent black man. Why is it that I as a white woman can go running and not fear for my life? Why can I go into the gas station and not be questioned what I’m doing and why can I be a passenger in a car and not be asked do I have my license? I have been disgusted every time this has happened ( which the fact it happens so often is despicable) in my adult life. When is enough going to be enough?
I was reading an article in my “Freedom of Rights” course recently and a black man was speaking about his childhood, he was about 10 years old and working for a company which included him getting them their morning coffee. He went into this same shop daily, and the white employee and the young black boy became friendly with each other. One day he decided to put his foot on the bottom of the stool, and lean on it more than usual. After a few more days he sat on the stool completely and the two of them locked eyes as if to say ” this is not okay” but no one said a peep and that was that. Now that was in the 1960’s, please someone tell me how in the world it is still like that in some ways today. The KKK should be long gone but unfortunately those scum bags are still congregating, and black people and families still get those side stares in many parts all across the United States.
Hearing that man say ” I can’t breathe” time and time again and people are standing there tapping it and other cops stand by, where is the humanity in that? Why do I have to hear that my 12 year old nephew woke up and asked his mom ” when will this stop?”. The thought of one of my loved ones under that evil mans knee pleading for their life, words cannot even describe the feeling that comes over me. In 2020 I should not have to fear for the day my nieces and nephews get their license and are out and about by themselves just because they are half black, I don’t even give it a second thought when my all white siblings go out alone, not once does any fear such as what happened this week go through my mind.
“Black Lives Matter” is a necessary movement/ protest, there was no need for us as a society to make it about ” All Lives Matter” because guess what people, its not people who look like me being held down till we die, its not people that look like me being scrutinized for the simplest of things. I will admit I am a privileged white woman living in America, my biggest worry in my life has been financial. I never worried about my safety, I never looked at police officers and trembled, I also grew up in a very prominent white town until I was 12 when I moved to Suffolk County.
There is a memory that to this day makes me cringe, I was fairly new still in middle school and I was sitting in class and a new girl came to class. She was a young black girl and a group of us were talking about people she has met so far and I said a few names and then followed it up with ” trying to think of other black people for you to know”! Yes folks I said that, and that is why 18 years later it still bothers me. I can see the girls that were talking with me, I remember they laughed it off and at the time I don’t think it bothered me as much as it does now. When I grew up it was all white around me, the most I had was a Chinese family as my neighbors, I truly grew up thinking white people hung out with white people and black people with black people. Now this is not because I grew up being taught there was a difference, in fact we weren’t taught anything at all about race. Please keep in mind this was the 1990s-2000 in N. Massapequa, had I grown up in Mastic Beach where I wound up in 2001, I believe I would have been much better educated and for the better.
I still see people today posting the comparisons to white people dying from cops as well, its not a competition! It is a disgrace and the truth is more and more innocent black men and woman are being killed just because! Why in the world was that young man gunned down for jogging in his neighborhood ? Oh, that’s right because they claimed there was a burglary near by , hmmm okay yes I am going to rob someone or someplace and then take a jog around the town? Stupid, ignorant , assholes ( excuse the language), and I will not sit here and lie to you all and say I wish I suffered growing up as black people do because I do not. I am grateful I grew up the way I did but that is the point, there should be no difference in how we live our lives, we should all feel safe while doing normal everyday things. I want to do more, I need to do more, not for me but for my nieces and nephews, for my brother in law and his family, for all the amazing black people I have in my life and cherish and really just for humanity as a whole. We need to get our shit together and we need to hold people accountable for their actions no matter what form of power they may hold.
People make fun of me when I say ” an eye for an eye” because yes I am aware it is very old time talk however; raise of hands please who would like to see those officers involved this week and all the other times die the way they killed these humans. That officer should have to lay on the gravel while someone of authority puts their knee on his neck so hard as he is grasping for air until his last breath. I probably sound insane to you all right now but enough is enough. I am tired of ” Blue Lives Matter” and ” All Lives Matter”, okay we get it yes ALL HUMANS MATTER, but there is no need for us to take away their protest/movement. I do not by any means agree with the riots going on now because of it, because that won’t fix anything at all.
I just want a world where we all are one, I know its like a fairy tale but it shouldn’t have to be. To my loved ones who deal with this on the regular, I love you. For those of us trying to make a difference in the world, keep on keeping on. Let your light shine through you daily, don’t let people dull your sparkle and always, always be the best you, you can be!