Everyone has gone through something in there life and I would never be one to undermine that or take that away from someone. The problem comes in when a person makes up their own version of what happened or why something is the way it is. For instance without going into details, my view of my childhood is much different then that of my siblings, now does that mean I made up “my version” or is it that each child held on to the memories they chose to? or could it be that we were all treated differently depending on the time frame in which we were growing up, depending on how the fighting was in the household or the level of toxicity in the house. Playing victim would be if I went around and complained all the time about my childhood and blamed everyone else for the issues I have now. Would I be correct in saying my dad tainted my views of men for the longest time, absolutely. Would I be correct in saying watching how my mom and dad treated each other tainted my views of love, absolutely, but what I will not do is use that as my “victim” card. I ended up falling in love, I found who I thought was “my guy”, I choose to make my own path & got and continue to get help to be the best version of me I can be.
The “woe is me” crap I cannot stand, I can’t surround myself with that. Listen I am all understanding in the fact people have a moment of despair when things fall apart & they are left picking up the pieces they never wanted. You lost your marriage, you had cancer, you got in an accident, you lost a loved one , you were abused etc. all of it is horrible and life altering yes, but God did not get you through it to sit and wallow in self pity and blame all your issues on what you went through.
Relationships would be so much better off if each person owned up to their mistakes & took some blame. Whether it is a romantic relationship, friendship, family member etc. I sit and wonder often how someone acts the way they do and I wonder why doesn’t that person treat them like they deserve to be treated but then I have to take a step back and realize not everyone see’s things the way I do.
I have forgiven even the worst of them, people who have not even apologized , those that tried to break me into tiny little pieces, those I love & respect. This does not mean it was easy nor am I patting myself on the back, I share this because it is possible to go through some serious crap & make it out the other side without letting it effect the rest of your life.
Bottom line, you make your life how you want it to be. If you don’t have money but can work, work; if you want to better yourself , do it. If you want a relationship mended, put your pride aside and mend it. If you want to be loved, give love; if you want kindness given to you, be kind. It really is as simple as I am saying it is, the world owes you nothing absolutely nothing at all. Maybe this blog is super harsh, or maybe I am just sick of seeing the world full of rainbows and butterflies. Life has taught me that is has so many ups and downs, so many moments of joy and sadness but in the end it is up to you to make your life how you want it.
Keep being you & don’t let anyone make you feel less than you deserve.