If you don’t want to hear certain things; sometimes it just smacks you in the face instead…

Hey all,

The last post I wrote I am going to consciously make sure it is my last post re hashing my past few months because there is so much more to focus on and talk about. I don’t know about you but when I go through things in life I don’t do the right thing and grow closer to God instead I take 10000 steps backwards. I have stepped into church maybe three times in almost a year now; I don’t listen to christian music which was what I was always drawn to and I curse like a sailor now. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a go to church or your bad post, this is me laying myself out there and showing you all that the woman who was just the youth leader for the past 4 years, is so far removed right now.

I think about it time and time again, why didn’t I go this Sunday? Then tonight as Nan & I were watching TV, the next movie on was Dolly Parton’s Coat of Many Colors ( not sure if that is 100% the accurate title) and we were both kind of like should we leave this on or not but I am sure glad we did! I mean it spoke to me to my core, all about faith and God being there for you through all times of joy and darkness. If a woman could hold her faith after losing a baby inside her womb after 5 months, I need to get my head out of my a** and get it together! Those who know me know how much my faith meant to me and how I clung onto it through everything thus far. Its amazing how things work out, I had all intentions of going to bed by 9pm ( I say this often) but then that movie came on and Nan & I laughed and cried and enjoyed the company of each other  and the strong message this movie had to tell.

I am blessed beyond measure, I am aware I have awesome people around me both near and far. I have many people I can call family and friends & a God who has not given up on me yet! The biggest blessing for 2019 is my little Godson RGW; the most precious gift God has given our family I tell ya! I didn’t think my heart could grow bigger and then I held him after being in this world not even an hour and I could not stop smiling. A baby really does bring a sense of joy that’s like no other, and now I have 9 nieces and nephews to love and cherish.

I was told recently as I am often told that I need to take time for me , and I post about this often; I am trying! I do this blogging thing which I love, but then that’s were it stops. I am trying to take care of my health as well, because if I am over weight and run down what good am I to anyone else if I am miserable? It has nothing to do with circumstance it has to do with myself. My mental instability as far as depression and anxiety, its over taken me especially since mid November its been worse, and I know only I can take the proper steps to help myself.

Laughter is really the best medicine, whenever I am with certain people and we start to laugh we end up laughing harder because we are laughing and it is a never ending cycle until we cry, pee our pants ( does not happen , often) or stop breathing because our stomach muscles hurt so bad. That is the medicine I wish was a cure all, I love to laugh. I pretty  much laugh at anything even things the average person does not find humorous.  Right now I am thinking about things that made me laugh in the last 24 hours and I am chuckling and smiling, hey whatever does the trick right?

This may be my last blog of 2019, I want to thank my avid readers and followers & thank you to those who have been my rocks this year; you’re awesome!! Those I don’t see as often as I would like you know I love you all and think about you everyday.

Greatly blessed

Smiles đŸ™‚

Colie

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