It has been a while; you ever get too much in your own head you can’t get the words on the screen, that was me in this week. So much has happened these past six months and more is changing, I am moving for the 7th time since 2010! It is not what I expected but neither is all that has happened in my life in 2019. Life is coming full circle and I am moving in with my grandmother and will soon live in the upstairs apartment where I lived as a little girl when my biological father left my mother and I.
Life is full of surprises, some good and some bad. If I have taken anything from my circumstances it is not about what comes your way but rather how you handle them. I am looking forward to fall weather, more fires and continuing drinking my pumpkin coffee as much as possible. As I write this, I am sitting in my living room on my futon and thinking how grateful I am to have the opportunity to live on my own so quick after the separation but also sad it is ending already. I know this is the right path for me and only good can come from this next step.
I try and look at the good that has come to me lately, like the new friendships I have, the closeness within my tribe of people, old friends coming back into my life and a sense of “I got this ” even when I have my oh so sucky days! There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about the past 12 years of my life and no one should expect me to. I miss the days in our first home, and our time with our fur babies just relaxing watching Netflix; but that is what it is now, memories. Memories I can cherish, no it does not negate the hurt and turmoil but I chose to focus on all my smiles and laughs as crazy as that sounds.
This Summer alone I made so many new memories with so many different people; from Met’s games, to city brunches, to random nights out with friends to tons of family Sundays. It has been one heck of a Summer and I can only pray the rest of 2019 follows suite and I can try and enjoy more of what life has to offer me.
Your current situation does not define you, if your where I am or was, it gets better I promise you that. I went from contemplating driving off a mountain back on Easter weekend to cherishing all the little and big moments that are occurring around me. Like I said I have my bad days but my good ones are much more frequent now.