Hey all ,
I don’t know about you but I for one think too much! I truly try to live one day at a time, I do but its just hard sometimes. For the longest time I saw my life a certain way and thought I had it all figured out; I saw the next 50 years planned out to be honest. Now I still spend most of my days thinking about that part of my life and wonder how the next few days, weeks and months are going to go. No sense in worrying about tomorrow when today has enough worry of its own (paraphrasing from the Bible), I wouldn’t say it is so much me worrying as me wondering. I know I will be okay one day like genuinely okay, for now I am surviving.
Life has a way of changing so fast, within a blink of an eye everything can change. I believe everything happens for a reason, I know I mention that often. I know I didn’t have kids because the last few years was a lie so me having a kid would have made this part of my life even more difficult. I know I was “let go” from my old job to lead me to this one, I believe I left my house sooner than I had to because if I wasn’t placed here I would not have applied to an office in which I now love. Everything is coming together just so, however; it does not make me miss the last 12 years any less. It just means I am making the best of the situation I was placed in and will come out the other end.
Moving also means so much stuff!! I have donated so much, given away even more and now I have things hidden in every nook and cranny in this apartment. I’ll admit I am a hoarder in one area, memories! I pretty much save every card I was ever given, every picture, my cheerleader jacket from 1999, my communion dress etc. I love keeping things, but this move I slowly threw away cards but that’s about all I parted with thus far. Something about looking back at notes, pictures, school things, just makes you reminisce and smile.
What are some of your wonders of life? What do you think of daily? I know my mind always has 100 tabs open, newest goal is to take up yoga/meditation again and alleviate some more of my anxiety and close some of those tabs! I also wonder often when will I stop thinking so much about my current situation? When will my heart heal? When will my soul not ache? In time they say, we shall see. I’m better today than I was yesterday and I shall continue on loves.